The common spirit with practically everyone on board was evident. Seeing so many women in what was somehow still able to be an intimate setting, worshipping God together, was beautiful. I sat at one concert looking around at all the ladies, wishing I had time to sit down with each one of them; hear their stories, drink in their wisdom. It struck me, though, that one day I will be able to do just that. It gave me a clearer picture and greater longing for eternity! The atmosphere here has been wonderful -- imagine being surrounded by each other on the other side when we are transformed, when we have all the time and more and love each other perfectly.
The messages this week have had a common theme for me -- there were many "subtitles" but the general message to my heart was surrender. I am still trying to recall all I have heard and learned. Though life had been rather stressful right before I left and the actual trip has included moments of inner struggle, I feel I am returning with a little more emotional energy for whatever lies ahead. I am so thankful for God blessing the beginning of taking my "hands off the wheel" before I left: He caused this trip to happen now, even though we planned it in May, knowing I'd need it. My cell phone wouldn't even work -- another blessing but really hard at first! It's been good for me. I've been in a different world, far removed from the life of every-day. I feel rather like I've been in Narnia or something...that I'm going back to my world and will find no time has gone by at all. I am amazed at the peace I feel. I left with a very real hurting in my heart; a pain that comes from cutting strings God tells you to cut. It's a confusing yet comforting feeling. I am returning home a little more healed-feeling. I have a huge peace that I have truly begun to hand over those desires to Him to do with as He chooses. His plans are not mine and finally my heart believes they are better. His plans are always best but it seems I have to re-learn that with each situation. What a gift to hear His voice. Even the pain is a gift of grace.
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I've been home a few days now. I have never felt more like I've been awakened from a dream, realized I had slept a little late, and hit the ground running. Did I really go on a cruise this time last week? Wow. Life is so crazy sometimes.
I am so glad to be back home. I missed everyone horribly and appreciate them even more now. I missed Tennessee, too. Even Halls! After traveling through four other states and another country I am reminded of how beautiful this place is. There was beauty elsewhere, of course -- but there's no place like home! My "sophisticated sister" rolls her eyes when I say such things. Call me a country girl if you want -- from what I've seen elsewhere, I rather like that description!
I returned with extra emotional energy, indeed. And God knew I would need it. He has done much "surgery" on my heart these last few weeks. I feel like the cruise was some recuperating time. But, because of the immenseness of His love, He has continued working, calling me deeper into the waters. I pray I will keep my eyes on Him and keep my mind on the fact that I may be going deeper and farther away from my precious idols and comforts on the shore, but I am drawing closer and closer to Him...and His open arms!
I am still trying to sort through my whole reaction to Nassau. I know my heart hurt when I saw the multi-million dollar homes along the fairly-tale-like beaches, and the enormous, elegant hotels....when literally down the street people lived in shacks. These people beg for work. Children roam the streets. I felt disgust at the attitudes of some, the smells, the comments from idle men -- but I want to have compassion. There are settings and people, just as I've described, everywhere. Right here in our wonderful Tennessee. I don't want to be repulsed or even feel pity -- I want to love. I want my heart to emulate Jesus' when He came into contact with such as this. I want to choose to be around these people, as He did. The sin in my heart was so clear and for some reason, shocking. I've never thought I had/would have trouble loving people like this. I'm the one that wants so badly to go on foreign mission trips -- and I can't even go into the Bahamas without feeling the urge to run away?! It's true, I've never been exposed to that type of culture so "up-close and personal." I wasn't expecting to on this trip, either. But I am so thankful that God planned it for me. I pray He will use it in my heart in the fullest sense.
I am so glad to be back home. I missed everyone horribly and appreciate them even more now. I missed Tennessee, too. Even Halls! After traveling through four other states and another country I am reminded of how beautiful this place is. There was beauty elsewhere, of course -- but there's no place like home! My "sophisticated sister" rolls her eyes when I say such things. Call me a country girl if you want -- from what I've seen elsewhere, I rather like that description!
I returned with extra emotional energy, indeed. And God knew I would need it. He has done much "surgery" on my heart these last few weeks. I feel like the cruise was some recuperating time. But, because of the immenseness of His love, He has continued working, calling me deeper into the waters. I pray I will keep my eyes on Him and keep my mind on the fact that I may be going deeper and farther away from my precious idols and comforts on the shore, but I am drawing closer and closer to Him...and His open arms!
I am still trying to sort through my whole reaction to Nassau. I know my heart hurt when I saw the multi-million dollar homes along the fairly-tale-like beaches, and the enormous, elegant hotels....when literally down the street people lived in shacks. These people beg for work. Children roam the streets. I felt disgust at the attitudes of some, the smells, the comments from idle men -- but I want to have compassion. There are settings and people, just as I've described, everywhere. Right here in our wonderful Tennessee. I don't want to be repulsed or even feel pity -- I want to love. I want my heart to emulate Jesus' when He came into contact with such as this. I want to choose to be around these people, as He did. The sin in my heart was so clear and for some reason, shocking. I've never thought I had/would have trouble loving people like this. I'm the one that wants so badly to go on foreign mission trips -- and I can't even go into the Bahamas without feeling the urge to run away?! It's true, I've never been exposed to that type of culture so "up-close and personal." I wasn't expecting to on this trip, either. But I am so thankful that God planned it for me. I pray He will use it in my heart in the fullest sense.
With that, I will close about my trip. It was actually an adventure in many ways.....including the fact that in my excitement to pack the night before we left, I placed mine and my sister's birth certificates in a "miscellaneous" suitcase and sent it ahead with all the other luggage which we would be reunited with when we EXITED the terminal. Ya know, they don't like it when you go through U.S. Customs with only a pitiful driver's license. Oh well. We knew we would have at least one Lucy/Ethel experience. We picked a good one!
I pray you all are well. I missed you all: can't wait to talk with each one of you.
Blessings!!
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