A confession. A testimony. A passage. And a prayer.

"We then, as workers together with Him

also plead with you not to receive the

grace of God in vain."

2 Corinthians 6:1

~~~

Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry,

but that your sorrow led to repentance.

For you were made sorry in a godly manner,

that you might suffer loss from us in nothing.

For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted;

but the sorrow of the world produces death.

For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner:

What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves,

what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication!

In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter.

2 Corinthians 7: 9-11

~~~

Father, I sense in my heart something that is hindering total intimacy with you....and I want to kill it. My heart is so full that I cannot express it all. Thank You that I don't have to; that You already know it all.

Lord, as I reflected last night on the impurity of my heart, I was grieved.

And there it is!
Father, You are so awesome. There is my answer...You just whispered it to my heart: I reflected; I grieved; but I didn't cry out to You. I allowed my sorrow in that moment to lead to death, not repentance. I allowed my only relief (which was far from TRUE comfort!) to be telling myself that "mistakes," "bad choices," "off-kilter mindsets," are part of learning and growing. Part of life. But Father, I want even my bad choices (which so often stem from the sin in my heart) to lead to sorrow and then repentance. I want Your grace to so overwhelm me that I can only run to You, to the One Who IS pure, and bask in that beauty. I don't want to "receive Your grace in vain." I pray You would use it to accomplish a beautiful work in my heart.....

I give to You my sin and regret, knowing it is ALL covered by the blood of Jesus. And I praise You. I praise You for the reminder of how in need I am of You and Your forgiveness. I praise You that I am free -- free from all guilt -- and free to live like it! Please cleanse me. Purify me by the blood of Christ and grant me that insatiable desire for You. Your righteousness. Your freedom. Your peace. And Your grace.

I love You.